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Indescribable Utah: Nature's Munificent Masterpiece

I live in Brussels, Belgium; however, I am aisolated, so you are almost obliged to eat
native of California. It used to be fun towhere  you  decide  to  sleep.
watch the reaction of people here when I told
them this. Their eyes would almost glaze overThe other possibility will cost less and give
and they would sigh, “If I ever visityou greater freedom. About 5 minutes beyond
the United States, it will have to bethe junction of U.S. 89 and Highway12, you
California.”will find Panguitch. This town has a
plentiful supply of motels, a number of
It used to be fun to watch this reaction. Itrestaurants, a supermarket and other shopping
isn’t any more, because I now feel likeopportunities.
a traitor to my heritage. “If you ever
visit the United States,” I now say,Count on spending two days in Bryce Canyon,
”there is better thanand possibly three if you simply can't tear
California.”yourself away, before going on to your next
destination.  So book your motel accordingly.
Certainly, Joshua Tree, King’s Canyon,
Sequoia, Yosemite and other natural splendorsWhen you decide to move on, resist the
in California are well worth seeing. And Lostemptation to return to the interstate for a
Angeles (my hometown), San Diego, Sanquick trip to Canyonlands and Arches in
Francisco, and Sacramento are excitingeastern Utah. This is about a 4-5 hour drive
cities. However, what you will see in Utahfrom Panguitch along a comfortable,
will  literally  blow  your  mind.high-speed superhighway. The problem is, you
see practically nothing of interest along the
Utah? Yes, Utah. Plus a little bit of Arizonaway.
and  Nevada.  But  principally  Utah.
Rather, take Highway 12 back past Bryce
I didn’t come to this conclusionCanyon towards Capital Reef National Park.
lightly. I was led to it several years by aHighway 12, one of the most scenic routes in
Belgian friend who had recently returned fromthe U.S., will offer you sights as remarkable
a vacation in the U.S. and was showing me hisas any you will see in the parks themselves.
photos, particularly of Bryce Canyon (westernThe temptation to stop frequently to take
Utah). They were blindingly beautiful. With apictures  will  be  overwhelming.
smile of knowing superiority, I chuckled a
bit and said, “Look, I know somethingStopping  at Capital Reef: A Capital Question
about photography. I know how such pictures
can  be  arranged.”Should  you  actually  stop  at Capital Reef?
“I didn’t arrange them,” heEverything depends on how much time you have
replied. “In Bryce Canyon, all you haveavailable. Like all the national parks,
to do is close your eyes, point your cameraCapital Reef is splendid. But to my mind, it
anywhere.  And  this  is what you get!”is one of the least spectacular (there are
there  degrees  of  spectacular).
I took him up on the challenge. A few months
later, I went to visit family in Las Vegas,The best thing is to follow Highway12 to
then rented a car and headed north into Utah.Torrey, which is just outside of Capital
First stop after driving through the barrenReef, and check in some place. There are
Nevada desert was Zion Canyon National Park.plenty of motels and some local restaurants.
Exceedingly green, even exceedinglyBy leaving Panguitch by 9 a.m., you can
beautiful, but not exactly what I would callarrive in Torrey in plenty of time to see
spectacular. Two hours further on, I sawpart of Capital Reef that day. The next day
Bryce Canyon National Park and simplyyou return for a second look, then in the
didn’t believe my eyes. “Thisafternoon move on towards Arches and
just can’t be!” I gasped. I spentCanyonlands.
the whole day exploring the place, still
gasping  and  still  not  believing  my eyes,Highway 24, which leads from Capital Reef
towards Arches and Canyonlands, has many
I have now seen Bryce Canyon seven times, andattractive sights along the way. So keep your
always with the same unalloyed amazement. Icamera  ready  and  don’t  hurry.
admit to having a particular weakness for the
park’s indescribably tangerine-orangeHighway 24 joins the I-70 at a place called
symphonies in stone, thousands ofGreen River. You will still be about an
them—literally. But my reaction tohour’s drive from Moab, the local
Arches, Canyonlands, Capital Reef, andmetropole and the so-called “Gateway to
Natural Bridges national parks, all in Utah,Arches and Canyonlands”. However,
come  reasonably  close.unless you have a particular reason for going
to  Moab,  don’t.
If there is truly an enchanted land anywhere
on  earth,  Utah  must  be  it.Considerably smaller than Moab, Green River
has a wide selection of motels and four or
Now knowing the region reasonably well, Ifive restaurants. On average, you will find
would like to propose an easy itinerary forthe motels about 20 - 25% cheaper in Green
first-time visitors, with some personal tipsRiver and you should have little trouble
you probably won’t find in guidebooks.finding one, whereas in Moab, depending on
This will not be a fixed itinerary, exceptthe season and the time you get there, you
for the first few stops. Everyone hasmay have to look around a bit. Both North
different interests, and time and money toCanyonlands (known as “The Island in
spend on them. So beyond the absolutely keythe Sky”) and Arches are only about an
things to see and do, you will be on yourhour’s  drive  from  Green  River.
own.
Before you read any further, I should warn
How  to  Win  In  Las  Vegasyou this itinerary does not include the world
famous Grand Canyon. There is a good reason
Start your vacation in Las Vegas. If you havefor this. North Canyonlands has a section
never been there before, it is well worthright near the entrance that looks very much
seeing. If you have been there before, youlike the Grand Canyon. If you have never seen
will probably want to see it again, becausethe Grand Canyon, Canyonlands offers a
it  is  constantly  changing.convincing substitute. And you will not need
to spend two precious days to go see the real
Since it has become such a popular touristthing!
attraction (just under 40 million visitors a
year), Las Vegas is no longer theSouth  Canyonlands
unbelievably cheap oasis it used to be.
However,  it  is  still  very  good  value.Your next stop will be South Canyonlands
(also known as “The Needles”),
Plan to arrive on a weekday (Monday -which is about a two-hour drive from Green
Thursday). On the weekend, hotel prices canRiver and a one-hour drive from Moab. But
zoom to double and often triple what they aredon’t hurry. The road that leads from
during the week (Friday, Saturday, and forMoab to South Canyonlands offers a number of
some  hotels,  Sunday).photo  opportunities.
You can take full advantage at any timeYou will probably want to stay in Monticello.
(weekdays and weekends) of LV’s lavishThis town is much smaller than Moab, more
buffets for practically nothing. Thelike Green River, with a reasonable
different hotels ferociously compete withassortment of motels and restaurants. Be
each other to put on the best possiblecertain to ask directions to the Mormon
spreads at the lowest possible prices. Why?Temple, a few streets off the main road but
The theory is, when you come into a hotel towell  worth  the  detour.
eat, whatever they may lose by lavishly
feeding you, they will more than recuperateIf you leave Green River or Moab by 9 a.m.,
by  what  you  drop  in  the  casino.you should arrive in Monticello before noon.
The entrance to South Canyonlands is several
Avoid the trap. Enjoy the bargain in thekilometers before you arrive in Monticello,
buffet and keep you hands in your pockets asso you might want to spend a few hours in the
you pass through the casino. In most hotels,park first. This way, you can then decide
they only way to get to the buffet is throughwhether or not you want to return the park
the  casino,  specifically  to  tempt  you!the  next  morning  or  immediately  move on.
If you are going to gamble and think you canNatural  Bridges  and a Breathtaking Overlook
win, play poker. Avoid black jack, roulette,
baccarat, and certainly the one-armed banditsWhen you leave Monticello, head south on U.S.
(slot  machines).191 towards Blanding and the junction with
Highway 95, then turn west. Here you will
What’s  the  difference?find two sights seldom mentioned in travel
guides. The first is Natural Bridges National
When you play poker, you are pitting yourMonument. Like Capital Reef, it is less
skill only against the others at the table.spectacular than some other attractions, but
If you are sufficiently good, you can walkwell  worth  the  visit.
away with a bundle; the casino simply rents
the space and couldn’t care less whoA few kilometers from Natural Bridges, turn
wins and loses. However, if you play anysouth on Highway 261 to one of the most
these other games, you are playingawesome sights you will ever see. The road
“against the house”. The casinoseems to abruptly end at a sheer cliff that
cares very much who wins and loses, you ordrops several hundred meters towards Monument
them. So they fix things so that the loserValley, but gives the impression of diving
will  always  be  you.  Always.straight  to  the  centre  of  the  Earth.
Don’t believe it? There is no secretThe road does not actually end here, but
about it. Virtually every casino has signsdescends the cliff to the plain below. You
shouting something like “We give youmay be reluctant to make this apparently
the best odds in town: 98%!” This is LVperilous journey on a gravel road. However,
code that means ”For every 98 times youthere are long, slow switchbacks all the way
win,  we  win  100  times.”down, making the descent easier than it may
look.
Saying that the games are fixed doesn’t
mean that the dice on the craps table areBut what about getting back up again?
loaded or that the croupier has a secretDon’t worry. Once at the bottom you can
button to control the spinning of thedrive along Highway 163 back to U.S. 191 and
roulette wheel. It’s the rules that area  gentle  rise  back  towards  Blanding.
fixed.
This will be a decision point. You can now
In black jack, for example, the dealer firsthead east about 130 kilometers to Mesa Verde,
distributes two cards to each player,with spectacular scenery and the remains of
including himself. Anyone whose cards add upIndian cliff dwellings. Or you can head south
to 21 automatically wins; otherwise theinto Moment Valley, the Petrified Forest and
winner is the person (or persons) who comethe  Painted  Desert.
closest to the magic number 21 without going
over it. Imagine that your first two cardsHowever, if you are now beginning to doubt
add up to 14, so you ask for another card. Itthat what you saw at Bryce Canyon was real (I
is a 10, bringing your total to 24. You havehave seen it seven time and I still have
gone over 21 (you have gone bust), so thedoubts), you can take Highway 95 beck towards
dealer collects your bet. The dealer isCapital Reef. Highway 95 is every bit as
always the last to play. Suppose he also goesinteresting and photogenic as is Highway 24
bust. What happens? Nothing. He still keepsbetween  Capital  Reef  and  Green  River.
your bet. So even though the dealer loses,
the  casino  still  wins!After leaving Bryce Canyon for the second
time, you may be looking for an interesting,
It is like this with all the other gamesinexpensive place for R & R (rest and
where you play against the house. The rulesrelaxation). Stop in Mesquite. This is the
are fixed to guarantee that sooner or laterlast gambling oasis in Nevada before crossing
the  casino  will  take  your  money.into Arizona and Utah. Still a small town
(but rapidly growing), Mesquite has only a
Knowing that you are going to lose—gethandful of big casino hotels, which in their
it firmly into your head that you are goingown way rival many in Las Vegas at about half
to lose—the only reason for gambling isthe  price.
to have fun. If you enjoy playing black jack,
craps, roulette, etc., go right ahead. ButAs you head down the I-15 back towards LV,
choose the lowest possible bet. You can haveswing off for 2-3 hours in The Valley of
just as much fun losing $10 as you can losingFire, a Nevada state park well worth the
$100,  probably  a  lot  more.detour.
If your objective is to win at these games,Another possibility. If time permits, take
stay as far away from Vegas as you possiblethe I-15 straight through LV towards
can. As the joke goes: How can you leave LasLaughlin, about 1½ hours south.
Vegas with a $1 million in your pocket? Easy.Laughlin is the last gambling oasis on
Arrive  with  $5  million.Nevada’s southern border. There are
several advantages to spending a couple of
First  Stop:  Zion  Canyondays  there.
To get back to the real world, it’s1. To get to Laughlin, you must pass by
time  to  move  north  to  Utah.Hoover (Bolder) Dam and Lake Mead, both worth
a  look-see.
Foreign visitors should know that the
American highway system is divided between2. Laughlin is on the Colorado River, so if
federally financed highways and stateyou like water sports, you will be very much
financed highways. Both classes are usuallyin  your  element.
high quality and easy to drive, with federal
highways tending to be wider with more lanes.3. The river is the border with Arizona and
California, so if you have never been to
Federal highways are shown on signs in theCalifornia and insist on setting foot in the
shape of a shield. There are two categoriesGolden  State, it is just a few minutes away.
of federal highways, designated
“Interstate” or4. Because Laughlin, like Mesquite, is not a
“U.S.” plus a number. Inhighly publicized tourist attraction, its
conversation, the names are oftenhotels are very much less expensive than
abbreviated, so that Interstate 1 becomesthose Las Vegas. You will especially
I-1, Interstate 2 becomes I-2, etc. U.S.appreciate the difference on the weekend,
highways  remain  U.S.  1,  U.S.  2,  etc.when a $60 hotel in LV can easily go to
$140-170, whereas an equivalent hotel in
State highways are identified by theLaughlin  at  $35  may  move  up  to  $70-85.
state’s name plus a number, and shown
on signs depicting the state emblem. Utah,Final  Tips  for  Foreign  Visitors
for example, is known as the “beehive
state”, so its highways are show onThe United States tends to “march to a
signs in the form of a beehive. Within adifferent drummer”. Things there are
state (because you know where you are), it isdone differently. You have already noticed
common practice to drop the state name andthat rooms in hotels and motels generally do
simply say Highway 1, Highway 2, Highway 3,not include breakfast, which is quite
etc.different from the practice in many other
countries. Here are a few other things to
You will leave Las Vegas by heading northwatch  out  for.
Interstate15 (I-15). Once in Utah, turn off
on Highway 9. Your first stop will be Zion1.  Posted  vs.  Final  Prices
Canyon, about 4 - 5 hours from LV, where you
will  probably  want  to  spend  the  night.Local and state taxes are almost never shown
in posted prices, so the price you see is
How  to Find Comfortable, Inexpensive Lodgingalmost never the price you pay. This is true
in hotels, motels, restaurants, department
Should you book motels ahead before you leavestores, etc. For example, if a motel shows
LV?  Absolutely  not!$55 a night for a double room, the final
price  is  likely  to  be  around  $61.
One of the best things about touring the
western national parks is the sense ofWhy do they do things this way? The idea is
freedom and spontaneity it can give you. Youthat if people don’t know what they are
never know what is going to impress you thepaying in taxes, they don’t know when
most, so you never know how long you may wishto get properly angry about them. Gasoline
to stay anywhere. Booking ahead regiments(commonly called “gas”) is an
you.exception; the posted price is the final
price.
So how can you be certain of finding a
convenient and reasonably priced place to2.  Tipping
spend the night? Actually, it’s not
that  difficult.“Service” in restaurants is
almost never included in the price. The
Throughout the West there are motels galore,customer is expected to add this voluntarily
even in fairly remote areas. You can usuallyas a tip. Normally, the tip should be about
find a place to stay even in high season. The18% of the bill (in a restaurant known as the
trick is to begin looking about 5 - 5:30 p.m.“check”). It is traditional to
The choice is likely still to be plentifulleave the tip in cash on the table. However,
and checking in no later than 6 p.m. givesif you pay by credit card, you can add it
you time to take a nap or a dip in the pooldirectly. Many people chose to do both, i.e.
before going out to eat around 8 p.m. thenpay  with a card but leave cash on the table.
returning to the motel about 10:30 - 11 p.m.
for  a  relaxing  night’s  sleep.Whatever you do, don’t forget the tip.
Restaurant workers generally get a minimal
However, don’t become blaséwage, so they depend on their tips for their
about finding a room. In Utah, the highlivelihood. Not tipping is equivalent to
season does not follow the late May - earlystealing.
September convention when children are not in
school. In many places the high season3.  Metric  –  American  conversions
extends  into  mid-October.
If you are used to the metric system, you may
Don’t insist on being right at thefind American measures confusing. Here are
entrance to the national parks. For example,some  easy  approximations.
the town of Springdale at the entrance to
Zion Canyon has numerous motels. But pricesA.  Weights
are high and in high season you may struggle
to find a room. Hurricane, a pleasant1 pound (1 lb) = 0.45 kilo. To convert pounds
35-minute drive from Zion, has many moreto  kilos,  divide  by 2, then subtract 1/10.
motels, with prices about half those in
Springdale, and a much broader selection ofExample: Convert 6 lb to kilos. 6 / 2 - 0.3
restaurants.(1/10  of  3)  =  3  -  0.3  =  2.7  kg
Also, don’t automatically head for aFor smaller weights such as in a restaurant:
brand-name motel. As the major motel chains1 pound = 16 ounces, written 1lb = 16 oz. So
continue to spread their tentacles across thean 8 oz steak is 1/2 of 450 g = 225 g, a 12
country (Motel 6, Super 8, Ramada, Holidayoz  steak  is  3/4  of  450  =  340  g.
Inn, Best Western, etc.), locally owned
motels are fighting for their lives. You canB.  Distance
benefit  from  this.
Some areas in the U.S. show distance in both
For example, my wife and I rolled into amiles and kilometers, but such places are
village looking for a place to stay. We wererare, so you will have to use miles. 1 mile =
particularly eager to go for a swim. The1.6 km. For a good approximation, add half of
first sight we saw was a name-brand motel. Itthe mile distance, then add 1/10 to get
had a pool, but it wasn’t heated. Wekilometers.
were in the late autumn, so the water
temperature was tolerable but not reallyExample: Convert 70 miles to kilometers. 70 +
inviting. I asked the price of a double room.35 (1/2 of 70) + 7 (1/10 of 70) = 70 + 35 + 7
It was $79. “That’s a bit beyond=  112  km.
our budget,” I said. “Oh,
that’s on the ground floor. If you goC.  Temperature
up a floor, it’s $59.” That was
more to our budget, but since it was justFahrenheit to Celsius: subtract 30, divide by
after 5 p.m., I said we would look aroundtwo,  then  add  1/10.
first,  and  maybe  come  back  later.
Example: Convert 88° F to Celsius.
About 2 kilometers down the road, we saw a88° F - 30 = 58, divided 2 = 29. Now add
local motel. It was less spiffy because it1/10  of  29.to  give 29 + 2.9 = 31.9° C.
was not brand new, but it appeared to be
well-kempt. I asked the price: $42. The roomCelsius to Fahrenheit: multiply by 2, add 30,
was more than acceptable, but the best partthen  subtract  1/10.
was that it had a heated indoor pool! After
luxuriating for an hour or so in theExample: Convert 32° C to Fahrenheit.
caressingly warm water, we went out for a32° C x 2 = 64, plus 30 = 94, subtract
delicious meal in a nearby restaurant3.2  (1/10  of  32)  =  90.8°  F.
recommended by the motel owner. All in all a
delightful—andD.  Prices
money-saving—experience.
Approximating prices is tricky because
For foreigners not familiar with theexchange rates constantly vary. Assume 1 euro
traveling in the U.S., you should know that= 1.3 dollars. Divide the dollar price by 2,
most motels do not serve breakfast. This isthen  add  back  half.
why a number of local restaurants (called
coffee shops) will be open, often from 6Example: Convert 24 dollars to euros. 24
a.m., where you can chose whatever you wantdivide by 2 + 6 (half of 12) = 12 + 6 = 18
to start the day—eggs, bacon, waffles,euros.
pancakes, steak, oatmeal, etc. You may not
wish such a lavish breakfast every day, butHave a great trip. And be prepared to come
you should not disdain the idea. A heartyback. Because once you have been to Utah,
coffee shop breakfast is very much a part ofit’s truly hard to stay away. For me,
the  American  travel  experience.it  is  impossible.
On  to  Bryce  CanyonEditor’s  Note
About 1½ hours away from Zion CanyonPhilip Yaffe is a former reporter/feature
is Bryce Canyon. You will leave Zion Canyonwriter with The Wall Street Journal and a
on Highway 9, then turn north on U.S. 89.marketing communication consultant. He
Where U.S. 89 intersects with Highway 12, youcurrently teaches a course in good writing
must turn right for about 35 minutes to theand good speaking in Brussels, Belgium. In
park’s  entrance.the “I” of the Storm: the Simple
Secrets of Writing & Speaking (Almost)
For lodging you have two choices. All alonglike A Professional, his recently published
Highway 12 you will find motels, whose pricesbook, is available from Story Publishers in
rise the closer you get to the park. TheyGhent, Belgium (storypublishers.be) and
have another disadvantage. They are ratherAmazon (amazon.com).



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